So like a week ago I was contemplating quitting therapy and was thinking about how well I was doing and was all “I don’t even think I fit the BPD criteria anymore cause I’m so healthy now look at me so strong!!!!” and then today I couldn’t get myself to go to work and called out last minute so I fucked things up and had a dream about cutting and impulsively ate week old chinese food that will probably make me sick and wish I could run away and take a Carrier Clinic vacation but that’s fucking stupid of me to even think about and Chris is mad at me cause I can’t give him a reason as to why I don’t want to leave the couch because being sad for no reason doesn’t make sense in his head and since I have no reason to be sad I shouldn’t be. Stop it, be happy.
I almost wanna get fired. I loved my job 2 days ago but now I’m scared. I don’t wanna do this I don’t wanna be a grown up I want to be 16 and I want to be back in Carrier on the Adol unit and I want to be sick again because I didn’t have to do anything then.
We had a threesome
You, me and my depression
Depression fucks hard
sometimes I feel really self conscious, and then I look at my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends, and then I feel like I’m a fucking goddess.